So the SAG Awards premiered last night. If you’re unfamiliar, lemme schoolya!

Screen Actors Guild Awards blah blah, 15th Annual blah blah, acknowledges the work of performers exclusively blah blah, winners are selected by fellow actors blah blah…

If you were looking for a Wiki-style breakdown of the SAGs- wrong website, y’all! Peep the Tag- “for those fluent in FASH-I-ONE!” Don’t make me drop the bilingual-isms on you! This is about dresses, updos, dresses, jewelry and dresses!

Now, that we have the academic portion out of the way, let’s get down with the get down!

USmagazine.com

Most SAG-alicious star: my dear, sweet Kate Winslet. I’ve been in LUH LUH LUH with her since her pre-Titanic days- which involved that obscure and disturbing movie Jude. Well, girlfriend continued her Award-winning streak in a cobalt blue Narciso Rodriguez frock that was hugging all the right everythang! Keeping the hair simple and the jewelry just diamonds, Kate kept the emphasis on that gorgeous dress! Now that, darling, is truly Revolutionary!

Age A’int Nothin’ But a Numba: Diane Lane and Kyra Sedgewick proved last night that they still have this Red Carpet game on lock! Diane looked gorg (per mostly usual) in a fire engine-red David Meister gown that had crisscrosses of fabric to flatter her incredible figure. Like Ms. Winslet, Diane chose understated hair and simple, but pretty diamond jewelry. Mrs. Bacon (Kyra) looked TDF(ToDieFor) in vintage black and white Chanel. Her casual cascade of waves and chic black nails made her look hip and 20 years younger! Show those youngens who’s boss, ladies!

USmagazine.com

USmagazine.com

Oo, Oo, I Can’t Believe It…: Terri Hatcher actually looked…great! There I said it, Terri Hatcher looked great. It’s not that she usually looks bad. She just always looks so “Bo-ring! Where is Eva L?” Therefore, I was just as shocked as the rest of the world when I saw her strutting down the Red Carpet. I did a cartoon-like eye-rub and attempted to clean glasses that I wasn’t even wearing. Bedecked in creamy layers of Monique Llulhier, Terri looked fresh and elegant and completely non-bridey, despite the all-white. She payed homage to the recent one-shoulder craze, but looked anything but trendy. A curly faux bob and simple jewels accented the look perfectly. Lois Lane, it looks like the days of those awful suit sets are finally behind us.

Snooza-palooza: Well, Ms. Hathaway, you have once more bored me to…nothing. I’m so uninterested I can’t even conjure tears of boredom- SAD! The dress was pretty…enough. The jewels were glittering…somewhat. The hair was wavy…I think. And you were a snore…for sure. Annie, a word of advice. You’re too young and sometimes-pretty to always look so frickin’ dull. We’ve seen your “edgy” side…*snicker*snicker*…so we know that you can be at least only marginally boring. Give us a lil A&T, wear some damn leopard print, and for God’s sake, show us even a glimpse of the girl that could date a Vatican-tricking total scheister!

USmagazine.snooze.com

USmagazine.com

Sister, you’ve been on my mind!: Though I have yet to see Doubt, I  believe in Ms. Viola based soley on this stunning number by David Meister. The bright canary-yellow set off her chocolatey skin prefectly, while the gathering at the side flaunted her cute little shape. The curly short do was classic elegance, yet not matronly- a tough feat for black hairstyles at times. She followed the trends with one bare shoulder  and an iced-out cuff, but that confident smile made the look totally her own. Forget Philly, it’s always sunny for Viola Davis!

Others worth mentioning: Eva L.Parker in tangerine Jenny Packham, Laura Linney in coral Michael Kors, Taraji P. Henson in a fresh (a.k.a non-bandage) Herve Legar and Emily Blunt in second-skin shimmer by Pamela Roland!