No matter how adamantly we attempt to repress our inner Abercrombie teen, this current distressed denim trend is testing the self-control of each and every fashionista. It’s clinging to the fashion world like the dreadful scent that haunts any visitor of the pre-teen hotspot. Eau de middle-schooler.

Just look at poor Katie Holmes. She’s practically under contract as the new A&F girl.

Thanks to people.com for capturing Kate's destroyed denim downward spiral

Well, I’ve decided that in order to beat this current fashion affliction, we must take things into our own hands- literally. After months of unsuccessfully searching for the perfect non-year 2000 “worn-in” look, I just unleashed my own distress onto an old pair from the GAP. Using a combo of a good ol’ kitchen knife (serrated edge) and a $3 cheese grater (thanks, IKEA!), I turned this barely-worn pair of jeans into my new go-to item.

Current/Elliot eat your $300 (and up) heart out!

I'm the Degas of Denim

My favorite thing about my new destroyed-at-home denim is its versatility. Though at first glance it can seem strictly casual, this style is like old-school Playdoh- seemingly low-tech, but actually complex. Paired with a simple white tee and brown boots, the jeans take on a rustic cowgirl look. When dressed up  with a button-down or fancy-pants printed cardigan, they look more quirky prep. Like Burger King says, “Have it your way!” (Hmm…I don’t know how I feel about BK on HighEndRearEnd)

So, conjure up a memory of your most idiot ex-boyfriend and get to destroying, y’all. Who knows when the distressed denim vaccine is going to hit the market and wipe out any sign of these perfectly-placed holes and choreographed rips.

For you banked-up fashionistas, my fave Current/Elliot pair. I guess it ain't trickin if you got it!