The next zombie/earth takeover movie should just portray the enemy as a species of club-clothes wearing smizers. Because I swear that is what will be the downfall of modern man.

I don’t even blame Tyra. As usual I blame Kim (K).

Tyra smized for a living, KK made smizing a living.

And now her child’s name is North West. The end is near.

But anyways, I’ve come to terms with smizing- if done correctly, it looks fucking phenomenal. I took the craft seriously and practiced before a series of big trips to Vegas and Miami. The result? Well you tell me?

My key is to think of my favorite moment from a really sexy memory. Like that one second that made the whole thing worthwhile- and just relive it in my head. The no teeth part is understood but make sure you don’t look confused. Goofy is just on the other side of sexy. And the no smile-smize should be reserved for true professionals as to avoid a bad attitude mishap in every pic.

My all-star eye-smilers.

• Kerry Washington– I’m not even saying this because I’m obsessed but this chick can hit a look that’s sultry and gorgeous all at once.
• Kim K– She better make the list after all the damn havoc she’s reeked on this world. When she’s not duck-lipping Kimmie slays the smize.
• Karlie Kloss– I know, I know. She’s a model so she should be expert, but Kloss has the smolder down like none other. I mean she gives some of the best face in modern times.
• Maleah Flint-Henderson– She may not be famous in the world’s eyes but my BFF has one of the best smizes on the planet. Literally on planet earth. And she inspired me to do better.

Ok, hit the mirrors, y’all!

{images via people and elle mag}