Even she's giving this collection the side-eye...hmm

You probably think I’m about to blab on and on about how wonderrrrful and HighEndRearEnd-fab Alexander McQueen’s new McQ for Target line is. Well, dear readers, I must borrow words from 90s gal-group EnVogue

“No, you’re never gonna get it (Ow!)
Never ever gonna get it (No, not this time)
No, you’re never gonna get it (My love)
Never ever gonna get it”
(repeat)

Frankenstein...um, I mean, McQ for Target! target.com

McQueeny, that song’s for you, ol’ chap, with emphasis on that repeat part.

Before even laying eyes on this latest Go International venture, I was positive I would be enamored. I mean this was Alexander McQueen for chic’s sake…the King (ok, Queen) of cutting-edge, high-end fashion. Not to spit on Thakoon, Alice Temperley or Erin Featherston, but McQ is a big, bad boy in a league all his own! I had my post idea all lined up- “All Hail McQueen” (catchy, ain’t it?)- and couldn’t wait to gush all over my keyboard with praise.

Butttt…when I dove stilettos-first into the GoInternational section of my neighborhood Tar-Jay (it’s French), a movie-style record-scratch could’ve been heard. Lots’o’black (Spring much? NO!) Prints literally beaten to a bloody, redundant point. And speaking of bloody- the swimsuits were a bloody hot mess. Every item was doll-sized and there was nothing tres chic about the fabrics.

I understand this is a pedestrian line for middle Americans to get a wee taste of high-fashion, but puh-lease. The overuse of the same two prints and the overall lack of excitement screamed, “Q did it all for Target’s Nookie! The Target Nookie!”

And me no likey.

Now there were a few tolerable items. A black cutaway blazer in a subtle pinstripe with matching cigarette pants offered some edgy work-wear. The consummate coat-lover, I found a black waxed cotton trench coat pretty intriguing. And a pink and black striped silk scarf emblazoned with the McQ logo begged to be tied ever so cool-hipster around the neck with a white tee and jeans. But nothing caught my eye long enough for me to actually battle those soccer-mom infested check-out lanes, so I left empty-handed and broken-hearted. Bollocks!

I like you...a little, kinda, sorta target.com

Thankfully for Target, they have the opportunity to redeem their couture relationship with two exciting new ventures hitting stores in April and May. But more about Tar-jay Boutique a little later, mates. Cheerio!