After a bout of writer’s block, Mimi’s back and ready to sartorially slay you! O, and the topic of Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss is a pretty lethal one.

"Boy, o boy, am I pretty and perfect?" *shoshanna.com*

First, if you have never experienced envy so palpable you can taste it, you have never seen Shoshanna in person. Second,  if you have never felt like a contestant on “The Biggest Loser,” then you have never stood beside Miss S either. Third (yes, there’s a third), if you thought all designers were snotty, self-righteous be-yotches, then you’ve never had a conversation with Sho-Sho either.

Well, rewind to a few Thursdays ago and I’m standing in Georgetown’s Urban Chic mouth a-gape at how absolutely frickin’ gorgeous and teeny-tiny Shoshanna is. Wait, I thought she was supposed to be all “real-woman curves,” euphemism for chunky with big boobs. O, no, she’s just lithe and lean with big boobs. Great!

And to add insult to injury, Shoshanna had the nerve to be NICE! Ugh, unexpected acts of kindness get me every time, like when she flicked a stray piece of chocolate off of my jacket. Cue “The Biggest Loser” weigh-in scene as I set down my plate of choco-covered strawberries.

Do you realize I haven’t even talked about the clothes yet and I have already perished…on a non-Friday, at that :(

Ok, Mimi, time for positive meditation. “You are a radiant goddess of beauty and strength…well, not when it comes to shopping and free refreshments, but whatever. Girl, stop playin’. You’re gorg and ya know it!” Phew, that was a wicked bout of humorous-less self-deprecation.

So, anyways, Shoshanna’s spring/summer line? A whole collection of serial killers, so be prepared for a slow and painful death.

Every style literally dripped with more Upper East Side femininity than Charlotte York-McDougall-Goldenblatt. I swear I heard this ecru empire dress with it’s sweet ruffles and adorable pintucking cry out, “I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted. Where is he?”

Sweet Cream *shopbop.com*

Well, darlin’ I’m right here! Mimi will be your Prince(ss) Charming, your Knight(ess) dressed in all white!

As a gal who’s all about hammin’ her gams, best believe I was obsessed with this beyond fabolous floral-print romper. I love how the neon colors pop like crazy against the chic black background. I’m thinking sexy black sandals and the oversized lucite bracelet I cracked and bought from Kenneth Cole. Recession shopping, will I ever resist thee?

FlowerShower *shopbop.com*

Another killer in-store style was this cream minidress. Its rainbow-brite sequined neckline is so FRICKIN” GORGEOUS! Sorry, y’all! Just hulked out for a minute. Ya know how this fashion stuff affects my body chemistry…And the little band of fuchsia at the waist is the perfect addition of color. Talk about ColorMeFab!

Sequin-tial Sassiness *shopbop.com*

My final fave is this stripey delighty tube dress! Where do I even start? The summery explosion of purple, green and orange is reminiscent of popscicle flavors- grape, lime or orange, anyone? And the oversized ruffle? The perfect chest volumizer for us itty bitty titty committee members.

Reading Rainbow *shopbop.com*

Now, as regular readers of TDF Fridays, y’all understand that Miss S’ styles are uber-chic, but also uber-pricey. But to further emphasize how sickeningly perfect Shoshanna is, when I posed my dilemma of being a young working girl with a limited sartorial salary, she sweetly replied, “Well, how about I work on the prices and you work on meeting me in the middle?” O, what a fashion fatality she is!